Category Archives: Uncategorized

Thefts at an Open House!

Police on the Scene with a Crime Prevention Lean Classic

Originally Released: 2010

Thefts at an Open House!

It’s on the rise and it could be happening in your area. Attendees of open houses (for real estate) are pilfering homes. We also discuss the safety of real estate agents as well.


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Thefts at an Open House!

Ma and Pa Kettle Go to Town (1950)

As I stated with our review of Ma and Pa Kettle (1949), the Kettle movies helped a struggling Universal pivot from the horror films that kept the studio in the chips through the 40s as monster films lost favor. I’m a sucker for cornpone humor and B-movies, so this is right up my alley.

In Ma and Pa Kettle Go to Town, Pa Kettle has won yet another slogan contest and this time they won a trip to New York. This time they will be “a fish out of water” not in a new modern home, but in the big city.

Pa Kettle on the Town
Don’t call’n me a fashionista…unlessin’ ya want ta

I was surprised that they started this film still in the “house of tomorrow” they were in at the end of the first film. I figured they would have the “sitcom reset” and be back in their old house with a throwaway line stating they are now back in the old place. It was a true sequel which I wasn’t really expecting.

A bank thief on the run comes across Ma and Pa Kettle and offers to watch their 15 monstrous children so the Kettles take their trip to New York. He plants the loot on the Kettles and tells his gang to collect the cash from the rural rubes.

Jim Backus, Mr. Howell from Gilligan’s Island, had a role as one of the gang. He had none of the vocal affectations he would made famous as Howell and later Mr. Magoo. It was rather interesting seeing him in such a different role than I was used to for him. 

Ma Kettle discovers a secret stash of tickets
Ma Kettle discovers a secret stash of tickets

Of particular interest is seeing the New York of the 1950’s and seeing the cars and streetscapes of the time. I’m sure real New Yorkers would find it even more of interest as they saw a couple of the big sightseeing locations around the city.

A number of running gags and telegraphed plot devices follow. Amazingly, despite the age of the gags, some are still able to tickle you. That’s due to the expert craftsmanship these films were made with. What helps these movies is that despite the personal foibles of each of the characters, you can’t help but like the people you are spending the film with. Gags like popcorn getting mixed in with the pancake batter, endless soda deliveries due to winning the contest, not to mention chestnuts such as the Kettles forgetting their children’s names, still pay off. 

Nothing mean spirited here, just goodhearted fun and quiet understated humor. A standout line comes when Ma meets a hostess in a lowcut dress at a ball. She says, “That’s a pretty dress you’ve got on… too bad the top wasn’t finished in time for the party.”

Pa Kettle gets grilled
Pa Kettle gets grilled, but he keeps his hat with him

There are so many gags that you see coming a mile away, and yet the slow paced charm spins an irresistible charm. Key to that charm is Marjorie Main and Percy Kilbride’s continued portrayal of the title characters. This was the third of eight they would do together and you can tell that they have really grown into the parts by the time they made this film.

The B-story of the criminal attempting to babysit the wild Kettle brood barely scraped the surface of the comedic material that was there. If anything was a shame, it was that we didn’t get to see more of that parallel tale since the Kettles in town wasn’t nearly as madcap as it could have been. I think the bank robber plot was overkill and slowed down the comedy. Just seeing the Kettles interact with high society would have been comedy enough. They didn’t need all the additional hijinks of law enforcement intrigue. We just want to see the Kettles flop around like the fish out of water they were. Thwarting villains isn’t really their bag, but you always needed that in mid century films. 

I have to admit a bit where Pa Kettle is calling the Square Dance is more clever than I expected and nice final curtain on the film.  Coming in at 80 minutes, it was just the thing for me tonight and maybe it will fit on your schedule, too.

Grade: B-

Ma and Pa Kettle Go to Town (1950)

Reviews From The Crypt – STAY OUT OF THE F**KING ATTIC

This week in the crypt we take a look at the new Shudder Original film, STAY OUT OF THE F**KING ATTIC.

You can catch the film beginning on March 11th on Shudder.

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PageantCast Mail Bag: 3/6/2021

We have fallen behind!

We know no one uses mail anymore, but here in the mailbag we put a selection of Instagram posts, Facebook posts and Twitter posts that we’ve been tagged in.

Here’s this week’s selection:

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Tremors (1990)

It’s not a secret that my favorite film of no time is Jaws. I have Jaws puzzles. I have Jaws posters by the score. I have stuffed sharks, a shark poster in the garage where I park my car, and toy sharks with shark cages. I have the Jaws Pops. I have Jaws on VHS, DVD, BluRay and even something called a softcover book. I have the Jaws 2 and Jaws 3 trading cards…the entire series. I love this movie…and my collecting is casual compared to many fans.

But I love the film, Tremors, also but I don’t have one item collected. Why? THEY DON’T MAKE ANY! It amazes me that there is almost nothing. There’s no action figures. Not even gummy graboids. To me, this is the story of a great film that people just missed. This is one of the first movies on my lips when people ask for a great monster movie…and yet so many have never seen it!

Just chillaxin’ on residual bolders

Tremors is a throwback to 50’s and 60’s creature features about two somewhat dim handymen that work in a tiny, one road town in the desert pitted against killer carnivorous worms. That’s the story. All the tropes are here: the small town shop owner, the irritating kid, the cute kid, bad judgment, survival talk (the word “plan” is said 20 separate times during the film), and practical effects.

…and as much as I love Universal, they screwed this movie up. The advertising campaign for this flick was TERRIBLE! Couldn’t have been worse. I think the next time I would see a movie this mismanaged it would be Disney’s John Carter. Luckily for Universal, this didn’t result in a $3 billion write-off; it made its money back and then some once it got to the home video market. The movie was made for $10M and made $16M in the domestic box office and tripled that in home video. This launched a franchise that has bridged 30 years and 7 films (so far).

Come on in!

S.S. Wilson and Brent Maddock wrote the film after a trip in nature climbing a rock and wondering what it would be like avoiding a creature under the ground. Early drafts were even titled “Land Sharks” but it took some time to develop. The pair wrote some good, successful films (Short Circuit and *batteries not included) and some horrid films (Short Circuit 2 and Ghost Dad) but I suspect these films will be their legacy. 

Director Ron Underwood joined the project and injected some of the zoological detail to the film and really put together the tricky sauce that makes a successful cross genre film. Horror comedy is a tough mix and this one works because it actually took all the comedy out that was not “incidental.” They kept it to what was naturally occurring based on the characters they established and generated through a sparkling script and a pair of boffo performances by the leads Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward. Underwood would follow up Tremors with City Slickers with an Oscar winning performance from Jack Palance, so he knew how to get a performance (let’s not discuss Eddie Murphy in The Adventures of Pluto Nash) and could handle F/X as he proved later in his remake of Mighty Joe Young.

Val and Earl. Have truck. For now.

I was lucky enough to see this movie during its theatrical run and it played particularly well with an audience. The viewers laughed when they were supposed to laugh and jumped in their seats when they needed to. A lot of this could be attributed to Ward’s and Bacon’s performance who instantly connected with the audience. They didn’t this by being the stand in for the audience. They were “that guy” we all knew. Hard working but not necessarily brilliant but capable of taking care of themselves. They invited us all along for the ride.

So we join the road trip to Perfection and meet the miniscule (and quickly dwindling) population of the tiny town, with one road going in and out and a subterranean carnivorous worm problem. The Graboids (as the creatures were dubbed by Walter Chang, the local grocer) were good, old fashioned practical effects and provided the necessary menace to bring us our villain.

Sounds like we need another plan

Included in the population was Walter Chang, the aforementioned grocer, portrayed by Victor Wong, who many genre fans recognize from Big Trouble in Little China. We have button cute Ariana Richards, who went on to be the elder child in a little film named Jurassic Park just a film or two later in her career. Reba McEntire, icon of country music, made her film career premiere as the survivalist wife of Burt Gummer, the only character to move through the entire Tremors franchise. Burt Gummer was a stand out of the supporting players portrayed by a post-Family Ties Michael Gross. Apparently when developing the script, they pictured Clint Eastwood and Chuck Norris to possibly portray the character, but I think it is Gross that really made the character pop enough to ground the series for the duration. Heck, if you can survive a pair of films co starring Jamie Kennedy, a few Graboids should be no problem, right?

Looking bleak on the peak.

As Bacon’s love interest in the film was Finn Carter, who I believe brings the right moxy to fill the role of a non-scream queen equal to the comedy team of Val and Earl. But make no mistake, this is the tale of Val and Earl and their absence from the follow up films is apparent from the jump. Their good natured bickering is the type of dialogue you could hear at any job site in the nation…except, of course, it centers on giant slugs that speed through the sand to consume natives.

For Jaws fans like me, there are some wonderful homages. A jackhammer pulled through the road stood in for a barrel and the death of a prominent character mirrored the death of Quint, complete with a little blood on the face as he is pulled below the ground. 

Can you fly? Wait for the sequels.

I loved the movie from the moment I saw it in the theaters and as soon as it was available for sell through pricing on VHS (for the uninitiated, often films in the early days of VHS, would first be available for rental pricing at about $80 and later became sell through at $20 later in its run). I hooked up the VHS to my stereo and recorded the entire film onto a 45 minute audio cassette (I had to turn over the cassette to the other side to hear the rest) so I could listen to the film on my drive to college each day. In this way, I really appreciated the vocal performances of Val and Earl which struck me as being the kind of performance a comedy team like Abbott & Costello may have delivered on their radio program in the days of old. I really began to discover the wonderful soundtrack, learning later it was a mix of two composers works. The story goes that Ernest Troost’s original work, characterized by twangy country tones, guitars and harmonicas, was beefed up by a more traditional action score by Robert Folk complete with violins and trumpets. Frankly, I love both of their work and they mix wonderfully in the film. If I had to choose, though, the harmonica bits are what I remember whenever I think of the poor citizens of Perfection.

This is a mainstream film put in the cult film box has always irritated me since this film had the potential to find a much larger audience than it ultimately found. Still, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Except I’d really like some Val and Earl action figures, of course.

Grade: A+

Tremors (1990)

Shielded Hearts with Catherine Drager

Police on the Scene with a Crime Prevention Lean Classic

Originally Released: 9/6/2012

Shielded Hearts with Catherine Drager

Catherine Drager tells us about Shielded Hearts, an organization that supports the spouses of law enforcement. You can find more at ShieldedHearts.com

Video taken June 2 at Bayshore Town Center in Glendale, WI.


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Shielded Hearts with Catherine Drager